My Own Worst Enemy

This has been a big week, people. I met with a potential client, and pitched four different articles! A total win this far.

But.

In addition to the successes, I’ve battled far too much self doubt this week, and it’s only Tuesday. Since I decided to move outside of my comfort zone, it has been an almost daily battle with my “committee.” Plainly put, my committee is my ego. It is the part of my brain that screams at me to stay at my day job because it is the devil I know. It is the part of my brain that scoffs at the notion that I can add value to a project. It is the part of me that strives for perfection and is mortified at the chance of making a mistake and looking stupid. It’s the part of my brain that tries to condemn me for attempting to live my own truth, regardless of how I’ve been told to live.

Dudes, my brain is a dick. There just isn’t two ways about it.

I can’t say I’ve always had this perspective, where I can feel the seeds of self doubt trying to plant themselves, only to take a shovel to them and get them out. Some days the shovel doesn’t work, and I have to reach for the gasoline and matches.

Why all the rambling about my jerk of a brain?  It has taken me a very long time to get  to a point where I can see situations like this for what they are, but I want you to know it is possible for you to make it here too.

It’s possible to not allow the birds of negativity and self doubt circling around your head make a nest in your hair. It is possible to tell your own committee to take a hike and have the strength to achieve what you want to achieve. It’s all possible, even when your brain is being a jerk and trying to tell you otherwise.  

Is there a magic cure? Can simply believing it’s possible make is so?  Unfortunately, no. Instead it’s a tremendous amount of intentional living and mindfulness. And maybe a little bit of therapy…

There are days when even my best coping mechanisms aren’t enough. What do you do on those days where your committee just won’t stop? Leave a comment below; I’d love to hear your suggestions!

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